She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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