Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
