You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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