Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
