Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
