oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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