The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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