I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I touched a dick in church today
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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