She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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