Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
