"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
