i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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