Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize