im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize