U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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