oh god the rape fog is back!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
