He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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