Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
home. puking in laundry basket.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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