You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
