Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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