Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
