Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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