Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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