party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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