And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize