Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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