a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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