I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize