Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
