The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
