I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
