There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
