she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
