No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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