I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
