Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
