oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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