Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You need Xanax blowdarts
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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