ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
