I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
