this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize