Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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