they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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