OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
