...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
