god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
sarcasm needs its own font
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
