i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
