hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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