he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
