im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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