what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am mentally ready for anal.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
