im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I believe in your delicious
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
