omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
