PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
