i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
