I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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