I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
