Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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