I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
