I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just high enough for therapy.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
