So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm like, not good at living.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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