Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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