This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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