see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize