maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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