Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
