all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
