I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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